(Photo by WVU Athletics)
Let’s start 2023 off on a happy note, shall we?
I hate Pitt more than anybody, I can promise you that. Losing to them in 2022 was only the icing on the cake of an asinine year.
Today, I am going to list several things I’d rather do than lose to Pitt again in 2023.
Without further ado…
– stare at the sun
– use vinegar as eye drops
– have a permanent Charlie Horse in my left leg
– be best friends with my ex
– brush my teeth with a rock
– go quail hunting with Dick Cheney
– have Shane Lyons oversee my budget
– have an incurable ingrown toenail
– swallow a battery
– ride with an Ohio driver
– sign Joe DeForest to a lifetime defensive coordinator contract
– watch a montage of Dana Holgorsen press conferences (only the coughing)
– have to watch our games on Facebook like that team in Huntington
– drink motor oil
– shave my beard with a weed eater
– take a steel toe boot to the shin
– have Gordon Ramsey critique all of my cooking – ALL OF IT
– kick a hornet’s nest
– drive a car with bad brakes
– bring up politics at a family function
– be punched in the face repeatedly
– answer a telemarketer
– have to watch Fox News and CNN for the rest of my life
– have to relive middle school
– walk on a floor made of Legos
– try to decipher whatever the hell Taylor Swift is trying to say in her new songs
– still use Snapchat in my mid-twenties
– act like I enjoy Zach Bryan’s music
– invite a lady to Morgantown with me and her reject me the next day
– be dumped the week of my birthday
– take an “it’s not you, it’s me” breakup seriously
And last but certainly not least!
– question the coaching of Bob Huggins publicly on social media
Happy New Years, Mountaineer Nation!