An interesting phenomena recently caught my attention. It happened as I strolled past a gentleman with a WVU sweatshirt and a Pittsburgh Pirates hat on. A true West Virginian would rather die than wear anything Pittsburgh related. It’s comparable to a Liberal wearing a red MAGA hat. You can’t be a Liberal and like President Trump and you simply cannot be a West Virginia fan and like anything Pittsburgh-related.
How do West Virginians rationalize supporting Pittsburgh teams? Apparently they cite a lack of proximity to any other professional teams as their reason, but ultimately what they’re doing is sleeping with the enemy. You would never find me at a Steelers, Pirates or Penguins game. West Virginia Black Bears’ games are also out because they are an affiliate of the Pirates. I despise everything Pittsburgh! You’ll never catch me cheering alongside snooty, uppity Pittsburgh fans!
I eat my french fries plain because I won’t support the local ketchup industry. There’s often ketchup on the table at restaurants; I kindly ask that it be removed, particularly if it’s Heinz brand.
As a young man, I was enchanted by Andy Warhol’s pop art collection and thought that it was iconic in its simplicity, but when I found out that Warhol was born and raised in Pittsburgh, I turned my nose up to his art entirely.
As a child, my family took me on a day trip to Pittsburgh; what was supposed to be a fun family outing turned into illness and vomiting the whole time; I have a natural aversion to the place, and so should every true West Virginian.
You’re probably wondering, “Is he suggesting that I’m not a WVU fan if I also support Pittsburgh professional sports teams?” Yes, that’s what I’m suggesting! I’m a real WVU fan and a real Mountaineer, and it’s my belief that anyone that wears the gear of Pittsburgh teams or supports them in any way by watching or attending their games are not true fans.
Let’s Go Mountaineers! Pitt? Well, they can eat sh*t!